things i’ve learned | Success on Stilettos

Today is my 26th birthday, and I’ve been thinking a lot about life lately. My life has changed a TON over the past two years – I got married, I moved to an entirely different city and I’ve started a new job. Needless to say, a lot has happened.

I’m definitely no expert on life – I make my fair share of mistakes. I like to think I’m somewhat self-aware of my flaws – I hold grudges, I can be selfish.. and the list goes on.

I’ve been thinking the last month or so, amidst another major change – we’re moving! (not far just to the other side of Cincy) – about what I’ve learned over the past couple of years from my personal life, my friends, my professional life and my husband. So, here we go, in no particular order:

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a little charitable assumption when it comes to certain things, but I’ve found that when it comes to people’s actions and fundamental personality traits – it’s best to just accept that not everyone is what you want/hope for them to be. I’m not saying this cynically, either, but everyone operates differently and that’s ok. You can’t control anyone else’s actions but your own, and as soon as I realized it it made my life much easier.
Everything happens for a reason. […and it’s REALLY hard to keep that in mind when you’re in the thick of it] SO much has changed recently, and not all of it seemed good, at the time. I’m really lucky, though, that when life happens, my husband is always there reminding me that everything happens for a reason. Guess what? It’s insanely hard to remember that when sh*t is going down. In my experience thus far, though, everything really does happen for a reason.
Everyone’s lives unfold differently. I’ve been really fortunate that I’ve kept in close touch with an amazing group of girls both from high school and college. We talk a ton, and one things I re-learn on a daily basis is that our lives are all very different. I love hearing about what’s taking place in their lives – careers, babies, marriages, moves. It’s not all happening for all of us at the same time or in the same way – or hell, maybe some things aren’t happening for some of us. And that’s ok.
That being said – Comparison is the thief of joy. I think as women, we tend to compare each other to one another all the time. It’s f*cking hard not to – society basically forces us too. But guess what? We shouldn’t. We are so uniquely ourselves and that’s actually a beautiful thing. We should stop comparing ourselves to other people – men and women. Bodies, success, things others have. Let’s just stop comparing. Easier said than done though, amiright!?
Work your ass off. Trust your hard work will pay off. As ‘millennials’, people like to say we aren’t willing to work for what we have. I know so many people who are grinding and trying to be successful, I know that’s just not the case. I’ve definitely sometimes felt that my hard work is just being rewarded with pitfall after pitfall, but I’ve found that it’s crucial to keep in mind your hard work will pay off eventually.
Making [new] friends as an adult is hard. When we moved to Cincy, we felt fearless – moving here not knowing anyone. We pretty quickly found out that it’s nearly impossible to make friends as adults. In college, we’re basically handed friends and added bonus? They’re also practically our neighbors. Adulthood is not so kind. It’s damn difficult to make real friends. Most of the people we meet already have friends, and it’s hard to get addd to a new friend group. Like really hard